Torn Green Velvet Eyes
10-10-07 | 19:35

I've got lovely Autumn flowers! The second photo is Bubble investigating the rather odd placement of flowers on the floor. They live on the table in the first photo but I moved them to the floor for a fuller picture. Nothing has happened, I've done nothing, skipping exercise, class even therapy today. I am even a failure at laziness. If I am to truly change I'd tell my therapist all my little lies, but I will not. I don't want to write, or get too much in depth. I am getting the red devil soon so I am a total wreck. I could barely manage to get outside today, somehow I managed to get my ass to Gourmet Gar@ge to get B0cca "chicken" nuggets and furthermore, managed to eat the entire contents. Yay me. Why the fuck do I do this? I am so depressed, off to nowhere and nothing, I do not know my place, or if I have the strength of will to create and sustain a place should I acquire one. Old high-school boyfriend recently told me that he uses me as the epitome of the one who got it together, her own apartment, able to get up every day and take care of my puppy, basically not fall into a black hole of drugs, depression and isolation. I don't know whether to be insulted or flatted by that comment. His intentions were good, so I'll be that later, flattered. How little does anyone know, even PB. How lazy I am, what a liar I am, how did we ever live together? I so don't have my shit together is is past laughable and gone right to debiliattingly terrifying. Oh well, that is enough introspective wordiness for this evening. Tomorrow I am having a cleaning service come early in the morning to finally clean out the kitchen cabinets and the hard to reach spots of the floors and wash the interior windows. Then I'm getting my legs waxed followed by a trim and color (at two different salons). Later I am attending some cocktail party at St. J0hn on Fifth and fifty-third Street with my mother and maybe later, much later I'll accompany Kat to this thing or something. Off to watch my favorite Wednesday night programs - A N T M and Gosslp Goil.

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Old news
10-08-07 | 11:08

Mentioning something unmentionable for those long time readers out there (all one of them - that is if Ms. Hippo still reads), OK so here goes.
Remember P? Patrick? The crass Long Island boy that R hooked me up with? The eazy cheeze eating uncouth slob that I dated ever so briefly for reasons I still cannot explain? Ya, well he is dead. He died a couple of years ago and R never told me about it because she thought I would get upset. This explains the quiet look that came over her face whenever I made fun of him (which happened often when the subject of old boyfriends comes up). He got a concussion, from falling down in the shower or being in a fight I don't know, and never went to the doctor and went to bed one evening and never woke up.
That's all I've got right now. Going back to diggin' in the past.

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